This is not my ceiling
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
