Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
