am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
