My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
