I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
