Tell her she can't have a vagina
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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