shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
this just has baby written all over it
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
