come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Randomize
