you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
