Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Randomize
