I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
