i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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