Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
no you cant smoke seaweed
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
