your parents love me but you hate me
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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