My nipple is on Facebook.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
