I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
