you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
