Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
