There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
