She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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