i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
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