I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
