I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
