Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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