I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
This is my gift to your gina
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Randomize