I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
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