I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Don't EVER smell your tampon
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
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