is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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