I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
