you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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