His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
