If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
