I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
