Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
