I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
