I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize