God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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