So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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