I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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