If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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