I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
jump out the window naked night went bad
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
