I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Randomize
