yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
