just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
