Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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