dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
