dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
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