I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
