When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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