I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
