That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
