loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
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