Just took my morning after pill in the library
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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