so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Randomize