the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
