When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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