i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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