when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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