We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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