there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize