he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
