he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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