those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Randomize
