I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Randomize
