Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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