I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
