he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
