In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
