are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
