He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
