Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Randomize
