areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
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