I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I just gift wrapped bread.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
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