$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
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