Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize