Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
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