this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
