Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
