And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
